Friday, April 08, 2005

Blogger Is a Cruel God

What hath Blogger wrought? I had plenty to say to you guys yesterday, and then, at the end of three mini-film reviews and a buncha supernova birthday shout-outs, Blogger just ate my shit. Today is like the morning after a nasty fight; I'm extending the olive branch to Blogger, but how do I know it isn't going to bite my hand off again? So let's be brief about the last 48 hours. In fact, in honor of my amazing friend Siobhan Adcock's newly inked contract for her second book, to be titled Hipster Haikus, I'm just gonna keep these short and sweet:

Yesterday's Birthdays...

Russell Crowe grew up.
At least, he turned 41.
Still has tantrums, though.

Russell gets two gifts.
He got hitched two years ago.
(He was once my man.)

66 candles
for Francis Ford Coppola.
Now find your old gifts!

Props to Bill Butler.
He shot The Conversation
and, the next year, Jaws.

It would be lowest blasphemy for me
To rush through Sandy Powell's day of birth
In merely seventeen beats. Clearly she
Is the best costume designer on Earth.
Only the august sonnet form can pay
The tribute Sandy merits from us all.
Did you not see all that Goldmine lamé?
Did Far from Heaven not hold you in thrall?
Edward II was only a sign
Of Orlando's finery. Our Tilda
Never dressed better; nor did Tom or Brad.
That Shakespeare Oscar belonged to Goldmine,
Though Gwyneth looked like Rita in Gilda.
Sandy is just the best we've ever had.

This Week's Movies...

There once was an actress named Joan.
Like a light in the darkness she shone.
The scripts might be silly
(Upside's willy-nilly)
But is there any film that Joan can't own?

Sin City is a dire affair,
Without a brain and without a care.
I've been so excited,
But this film's benighted,
And more sordid than I could bear.

Here is some news that's more fun to hear:
Off the Map is the best of the year.
So deft and so clear,
So shrewd but so dear,
And Joan Allen's acting remains without peer.


Blogger ModFab said...

Not that I don't love the haiku-lite, Nick, but did you know that Blogger just added a feature where you can recover your lost posts? Check out


9:43 AM, April 09, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

you are the funniest
person i have ever known
when will you visit?


4:29 PM, April 10, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

you know that I joked
dissertations trump visits
your brain is AWESOME!

6:23 PM, April 11, 2005  
Anonymous Siobhan said...

Nick, you are awesome!
Ain't nobody dope as you
So fresh and so clean

10:37 PM, April 13, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

writing papers: hard
being friends with you: easy
enjoy time in OH

(haikus are addictive!)

9:25 PM, April 14, 2005  
Anonymous goatodg said...

I was once driven to poesy by a movie. It was Gothika, and I just had to write a sestina about how bad it was. My next project is a villanelle about a movie I like, but I haven't been inspired enough yet to try it.

9:26 AM, April 18, 2005  
Blogger David Shultz said...

This is utterly and completely random, but I'm a big fan of your writing and of Wong Kar-Wai, and I noticed that you had Happy Together, a film I recently saw and now hail as a masterpiece, at the top of your list for '97, but there is no review. I'm just curious, what did you think of it? I mean, beyond it being the best of its year.

12:20 AM, April 20, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

alas where are you
grey winds sweep all petals down
and cold refutes spring

12:25 PM, April 21, 2005  
Anonymous goatdog said...

Thirteen days? Too long!
Perhaps you could just post your
dissertation here?

1:48 PM, April 21, 2005  

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